Life's a template

sibling

2012-01-21T05:11:00.000-08:00

Just few minutes ago, I fought with my little brother and I cried. damn! kids can be soooo irritating!!

I love my brother soooooo much that I wouldn't want him to get hurt, be sick and feel unappreciated or some sort. This is why my parents and I try to give him the support and love he deserves. I admit, I sometimes feel so envy of him because my parents is giving him the full attention in everything he do while during my younger days, I only have my lola with me. They (parents) were there but nanay was more of the guardian and parent to me than them. Right at this moment, I feel sad that I have to be so emotional of that fight I've had with my brother. I feel so childish and so bad that I have to shout at him, and cry. I know he's hurt too but he's too stubborn to say sorry or comfort me atleast. Men!! If parenting is as difficult and as extreme as this, I think Id rather not have a kid of my own! but life is better with someone to love and take care of. I hope tomorrow will be better for us. that brother will finally learn to listen and understand my thoughts and disciplinary actions thrown on him. All I want to happen is mold him as a good person with proper attitude and knows when to have fun and when to stop from being stubborn!

I don't know if I should apologize now. I hope he's not mad at me. I hope he won't feel unappreciated, I hope I did the right thing. I love my brother soooooo much.

crippled

2012-01-19T04:52:00.000-08:00

I am seriously tired of all these shits. There should be a way out.
I must find it S O O N!! men! I need a L I F E!!!!!

sad.lost.alone

2012-01-08T06:04:00.001-08:00

Hurt of how my paternal family has been.

Excited but afraid of what the future holds.

Sad for turning my back on what could have been.

Longing for a clearer path because I don't want to waste the strength and drive.

Dreaming of empty dreams.

I wish things will fall on their right places soon. Selfish I know but these are just what we call "wishful thinking". We never know what's gonna happen later, and tomorrow. I'm tired of crying, feeling all alone, and feeling weak. I know i'm being laughed at because of my "weaknesses" but I know I still have the courage to do better and stand on my own and be happy just the way I want it, just that, I am still not ready to make a move. My heart breaks every time because I miss the good old days with friends and family but i'm already tired of chasing and trying so damn hard. I think it's about time that I think of myself learn to love myself better and care for my immediate family more than the extended ones, so as friends. Oh God, I feel so helpless like a defeated warrior but I know I have to keep up and be stronger. I wished to disappear, to end everything but that's just the biggest way of showing how pathetic I am which I dont want to consider. aaarrrgggghhh.. people, why do you have to be soooo damn insensitive, arrogant, and cruel? be fair, learn to love, and appreciative coz you're hurting so much. ;-(

Oh hello, 2012! still a drama queen.lol.

2012-01-08T05:58:00.000-08:00

“@FreddyAmazin: Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend/"relative" to be nice behind my back.”

Been having this LSS since last week, it's from The Corrs. Though the lyrics really not applicable to me, I am loving the song because of its melody. It's the kind that I want to play over and over while on a road trip going somewhere far and alone. I guess that kind of fantasy will remain a fantasy unless i'll have the money to buy anything, everything. Listen up and you might just like it as well. Enjoy! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=PH&feature=share&v=-prcagr07mQ

ZORB dream ride

2011-12-28T02:33:00.000-08:00

I felt excited but I almost got killed. I wish I died.

Things will never be the same

2011-12-04T06:23:00.000-08:00

I know too well that we can never put the broken pieces together and recreate a beautiful flower vase. that's just too impossible coz i feel that never liked being with anyone of us. you dont treat us as your family. hatred comes into your mind and heart than love. you never even bothered to say SORRy after what happened. you're selfish and i hate you for being one. i tried but you never appreciated it. sad but goodbye. im/we're better off without your shadow.

[ENG+ROM] Kim Junsu - You Are So Beautiful [Scent of a Woman OST]

2011-11-22T02:24:00.000-08:00

even your cold love and your tears erase my painful scars...

Solid Harmonie - Walk Away

2011-10-31T09:03:00.000-07:00

Maybe some of you can't even remember this girl band named 'Solid Harmonie'. Well, they popularized the hit songs To love once again and I wanna love you, to name a few. Since I was so addicted to music back in 1990s, I bought a cassette tape of SH's 1st album and with my ever-reliable Sony Walkman, I kept listening to SH's songs over and over and over until my double AA batteries get empty. Their songs didn't do well here in PI or so I thought coz they didn't last in top hit charts and some sort, but to me, they're awesome!

Funny thing though coz I never/haven't had any heartbreak drama whatsonot but I love to listen to their melodramatic genre. Oh well, thanks to my ohso hopeless romantic heart, I appreciate SH from then til now and forever. Listen up and you might just like them, or their voices, as well :)

nothing excites me really

2011-10-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

let the music heal your soul

2011-10-23T02:36:00.000-07:00

the title says it all.

drama 101

2011-10-23T01:45:00.000-07:00

I know too well that nothing in this world can last forever and there's no such thing as perfect. But when something happens and it gets into you so darn, men! you can't help not to weap. it's just so weakening that you want to break down and cry endlessly and wish to die at one moment to end all the shameful and heartbreaking events. No matter how you try to be passive and be numb, the pain is just so magnetic. damn!

Oh God, I don't know if I can handle all these and whatever's in-store for me but I pray that i'll stand strong for my mom and my brother and myself. I love my father but I don't know how to confront and correct him. Gosh! This is so like yesterday.. thought we're through with it. Sad part is, my brother's too young to suffer and feel neglected. He don't deserve that. I had my share of those awful years and it shouldn't happen again, pleaseeee? ;-(

Sigh. I can't think of any song to play that rhymes with what we're going through right now but here's one to satisfy my melodramatic mood.

Here without you by 3 doors down

and My Sacrifice by Creed

what L O V E is

2011-10-09T05:04:00.000-07:00

it's funny how I have to ask myself why I don't have a boyfriend. That shouldn't matter at all anyway but, as humans, we tend to be so curious at one point so I let it pass but then again I can't help not to wonder and throw the question 'Why'.

Would I be the one to know the answer? No, is there even an answer for that stupid, lame question? Only God knows right? so why do we/I have to bother and stress myself in asking? Fool heart and mind. Gosh.

The last time my heart fell for someone was like ages ago already. The first one isn't good but not bad as well, just not at the perfect timing. I was too young and the guy was too childish. The last was so damn funny. I even consider it as more of the 'puppy love' than the first one. haha. then, all I had were countless of crushes, crushes, crushes..:))

I sometimes think maybe because I am not as pretty as the other girls, not as sexy as they are, not as fashionista, whatever! but then a real man would not look into those things right? whatever! haha.

Love will surely come my way, just not too soon. I know falling inlove is a great feeling but if it's not meant to happen soon, then accept that. life doesn't just go around with man-woman relationship, you have God, your family, friends, and yourself to love before others. ows? really now huh?!! hehe..

BEST senti song evah!! Katharine McPhee - Terrified ft. Zachary Levi

2011-10-09T04:54:00.000-07:00

Fav lines:

#1 'nothing is worst than knowing you're holding back'
#2 'I can be all that you needed if you let me try'
#3 'I am inlove'
#4 'I am terrified'
#5 'I only said it coz I mean it. I only mean it coz it's true'

when will I ever get that feeling.. of falling in love again? God knows when.

Singapore: First International Trip

2011-10-02T07:40:00.000-07:00

Day 1: Welcome to Singapore!!

Day 2: Orchard Road, Lucky Plaza, Ion - MALL!!! :)

Day 3: Merlion Park, Singapore Flyer

Day 4: Universal Studios Singapore

Day 5: My parents' 25th Wedding Anniversary

Day 6: Shopping

Day 7: Shopping then Meet and Greet with Mama's friends for dinner

Day 8: Bye, SG! aaw.. that lil girl is teary-eyed already. I miss her now.

There are good and bad experiences on this trip. What a way to highlight my family's FIRST trip. Oh well, Life is indeed full of surprises.

random shit - birthday blues: draft

2011-09-07T01:28:00.000-07:00

I planned to make a sensible blog entry; share the things that happened to me in the last two, three months but currently, I am too tired to do anything! that simply made even more sad coz I am being unproductive. this is so not me - melodramatic! or maybe I am but I try to ignore or get rid of it. gulay!!

okay, so to tleast make this minute count, im writing my draft through touchey (ipod touch). *thinking* so what am I gonna share? *thinking*

I offer this song to Papa God, Papa Jesus and Mama Mary

2011-09-04T08:55:00.001-07:00

Take Me Out Of The Dark

Just what is it in me?
sometimes I just don't know
what keeps me in your love
why you never let me go
And though you're in me now
I fall and hurt you still
My Lord please show me how
to know just how you feel
You have forgiven me
too many times it seems
I feel I'm not what you might call
a worthy Christian after all
And though I love you so temptations
finds it's way to me

Teach me to trust in You
with all of my heart
to lean not on my own understanding
coz' I just forget
Lyrics www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/gary_valenciano/
You won't give me what we can't bear
Take me out of the dark My Lord
I don't want to be there,ooh,hah

You never left my side
You gave Your hand to me
to hold You,oh Jesus
I'm no longer in the cold
And yet I leave You there
when I feel satisfied
I'd like to thank You everyday
not only when I feel that way
I've never known a man
who'd give His life for sinners like me
And yet because He loves us so
He promised us eternity
And we can have His promise
and be His if have faith and
just believe..

Teach us to trust in You
with all our heart
to lean not on our own understanding
cause we just forget
You won't give us what we can't bear
Take us out of the dark our Lord
We don't want to be there
Yeah, My Lord

Teach me to trust in You
with all of my heart
to lean not on my own understanding
'cause I just forget
You might give me what I can't bear
Take me out of the dark My Lord
I we don't want to be alone
You take me out of the dark,My lord
i don't want to be there,
ooh,ooh...hah...

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris (Boyce Avenue acoustic cover) on iTunes

2011-08-21T01:23:00.000-07:00

I just want you to know who I am :)

Rascal Flatts - What Hurts The Most

2011-08-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

I know I don't have a significant other or any real heartaches yet but I really, really love this song. I first heard in when I was still in college (2004-2008) through myspace and I fell in love with it instantly. I guess the words are just so heartbreaking? saddening and full of hopes and regrets na I always feel. aaw.. hearing this actually makes me want to fall in love with someone and feel the pain just to get myself feel such kind of song all the more. non-sense, I know but that's me. LOL.

HOT!!!!! Jennifer Lopez - I'm Into You ft. Lil Wayne

2011-08-11T07:54:00.000-07:00

naturally talented, Brandon Boyd!! Incubus band is totally AWESOME!!

2011-08-06T05:21:00.000-07:00

Incubus-"Drive" Music Video (Acoustic Version)

How I wish I can be as talented as they are.

Quiet Girl: Subspace Coffee House

2011-08-04T02:28:00.000-07:00

Quiet Girl: Subspace Coffee House: "A few days ago, when I heard the news that Subspace Coffee House opened, I asked my boyfriend to go out with me one weekday night to visit ..."

..

2011-08-03T09:32:00.001-07:00

i need a hug.

SAKAYE SUSHI: SASHIMI vs. SUSHI vs. MAKI ROLLS

2011-08-02T01:54:00.000-07:00

SAKAYE SUSHI: SASHIMI vs. SUSHI vs. MAKI ROLLS: "What is sashimi? Sashimi is the thin, delicate slice of raw fish alone. Our fish is very fresh and it has the ability to melt in your mout..."

to write

2011-07-30T04:30:00.001-07:00

~incubus concert experience
~stress at work [office and homebased]
~personal
~etc

Incubus Live in Manila July 28, 2011

2011-07-30T04:28:00.000-07:00

a very powerful opening number with their hit 'Megalomaniac'

Intense scene: Mike, the lead guitarist slammed his guitar and pushed the amp speakers out of annoyance. eer, define scary mood swings of a rockstar? good thing Brandon Boyd was all calm and seems so friendly throughout the event. whew! I N C U B U S !!!!!!!

ITV's Special Behind the Scenes Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows II ...

2011-07-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

I only became a fan of Harry Potter when I was in college (2009). I appreciated the first 3 movies though but never really cared of remembering names, places, and spells mentioned in the movie not until I've seen the fifth and sixth sequel.

My best college buddy, Shai, was the one who inspired me to get to know this phenomenal movie deeper. I consider her as one great fan of Harry Potter from books, movies, and esp Daniel Radcliffe. Myy! She seems to know everything about it and good thing, I learned from her.

here's one special film of behind the scenes for HP7 pt 2. Gosh! what a major production it was!

Shai, her fiance, Seth and I watched the final sequel in the newly opened iMAX movie house in SM Southmall. I cried.. super. I'm gonna miss hearing the name Harry Potter in cinema trailers. Id definitely want to have a complete DVD set of this movie so I can pass it on to the next generation. A great, great movie for all times.

back pain shit

2011-06-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

it is when you are determined, focus and inspired to work and finis everything on time,
comes some pain in the ass hindrance!

Augustana - Boston (slow version feat. Daria Werbowy)

2011-06-24T18:59:00.000-07:00

...Oh yeah and I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

Promises, Promises by Incubus (Single)

2011-06-22T05:23:00.000-07:00

I'm only 23 for another hour, give or take
I'm a fan of yours and I need a good mistake
I'm not a sinner or preacher, all I have is slight of hand
I do magic tricks for all the boys in the band

Baby could I be the rabbit in your hat?
I'd swing if you'd hand me, hand me the bat

I'm on the road of least resistance
I'd rather give up than give in to this
So promise me only one thing, would you?
Just don't ever make me promises
No promises

I've never done this before, promises, promises
But I'm enjoying the illusion and the things my body says
Now you see me, now you don't, oh how well you disappear
What are you running from and may I interfere?

Baby could I be the rabbit in your hat?
I'd swing if you'd hand me, hand me the bat

I'm on the road of least resistance
I'd rather give up than give in to this
So promise me only one thing, would you?
Just don't ever make me promises
No promises

"LIVE IT UP!" - Lasallian Centennial Dance Anthem Featuring the De La Sa...

2011-06-18T02:28:00.000-07:00

I am a proud Lasallian. too bad I wasn't and wouldn't be able to witness any celebration of our my Alma Mater for its 100 years of existence and sharing St. John Baptist De La Salle's kindest and purest love and mission. still, ANIMO! :)

This song is my current LSS and I can't wait to get full lyrics of it. ^__^

Chasing Pavements Lyrics - Adele @ eLyrics.net

2011-06-16T03:11:00.000-07:00

Chasing Pavements Lyrics - Adele @ eLyrics.net

Chasing Pavements lyrics
Songwriters: Adkins, Adele; White, Francis Eg;

I've made up my mind, don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong I am right, don't need to look no further
This ain't lust, I know this is love

But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough
'Cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

I build myself up and fly around in circles
Wait then as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
(From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/adele-lyrics/chasing-pavements-lyrics.html)
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing pavements
Should I just keep on chasing pavements?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

24+ hours in a day

2011-06-15T03:36:00.000-07:00

work from day to night para mapag-bigyan ang luho. not good, i know but that's how life is. as the song goes 'it's not about the money' well, its easy to say but on reality, money matters. gosh!! sana all my hard work will pay
off ;(

life as you make it

2011-06-15T02:10:00.000-07:00

today's question: to tweet or not? haha.. but no. i guess facebook, blogspot, youtube, should be enough. done deleting tumblr, friendster, multiply, myspace, etc.. it's all good! 2) too many questions, too many rants, too many sighs and non-sense blabberings -- no move for change. ;( 3) this ipod touch is love, i just hate not being able to use it always coz it's just new and no apps whatsoever yet. hehe.. life is so extreme - happy, sad, jumpy, tiring... whew!

my new baby ^_^ whew!

2011-06-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

i want to give her a name. hmm..

10 June 2011
so after a year of my wishful thinking, i finally have it! i thank myself for this reward. lol!

photo credits to my ever talented photographer/graphic artist friend Seth Lospe ^_^

source: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1794168655459&set=a.1794146974917.2093655.1276960452&type=1&theater

another chapter, same shit

2011-06-02T02:01:00.000-07:00

i want to lay down and rest...forever.

Game Music: Farmville - Theme Song

2011-05-21T08:43:00.000-07:00

This may sound so odd to you but yea, Farmville's theme song holds a special place in my heart. it was when this facebook application was making a trend set when i got addicted to it and at the same time shared or stealed few moments of bonding with good old friends and relatives. this game was so addictive that i always try my best to go online just to plant, and reap what I planted. myyy!! addiction!! another thing is that, the melody is relaxing? and very enticing to play and feel all rich right on your own virtual FARM! :-)

I really hope I could go visit my farmville again real soon.

[Eng Sub] Crazy little thing called love OST - Someday

2011-05-18T12:07:00.000-07:00

Oh gosh!! Isn't obvious, im so addicted to this flick. who wouldn't be? for someone as hopeless romantic as I, wow, this can mean really something. ohmy!! how I wish I can go back to my teenage years. LOL! but seriously, the lyrics is just sooo sweet. oh LOVE!

A Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Day, Month, Year (Movie Clip)

2011-05-18T11:56:00.000-07:00

One of my favorited scenes in this very addictive Thai movie. It talks more of friendship and love. sweet!! young love, sweet love. oh life! why do we have to age? lol!

Chris Tomlin - Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)

2011-05-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

MYOH '11

2011-05-15T08:58:00.000-07:00

One of my current Luho(s) in life, havs! I only have few but id love to collect and wear hundreds of it. what the heck! :))

HALF LIFE (lyrics) - duncan

2011-05-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

OST of What a Girl Wants. The movie is something I'l never get tired of watching over and over. I love it to death, not that I can relate with the story but there's something to it that makes me feel all good and sad, respectively. It never failed to make me cry and ponder on so many things.

Too many words are running in my head to really decipher what's inside my mind and heart right now that relates to this song but I am too tired to put them into words and share it to this most precious page of mine.

if only tears can speak for what im feeling right now ;(

when will..

2011-05-09T04:39:00.000-07:00

when will I smile?

too many questions..

too many hesitations..

too many fears..

too many..

but..

_

EK again and again. 043011 is L-O-V-E!

2011-04-30T21:23:00.000-07:00

The Distance- Evan and Jaron

2011-04-19T07:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know to whom im gonna dedicate this song but what im sure of is, im sad and I feel that this song somehow brings out the words I can't express. aargh! lonesome, lonesome.

250 article$$$

2011-04-06T08:14:00.000-07:00

okay, so we (my girl best friend Shai and other friends) accepted this BIG article writing project for two reasons 1) MONEY! 2) MONEY! haha! The entire thing was divided for more than 10 writers and I was given, or rather I volunteered, to write 250 articles in 4 weeks! sounds easy..

but it's not!

I started last Mar21, Monday but was kinda lazy to continually write since i was also doing some articles for Red and Adam [my other contractors]. I was confident that i can meet the first deadline, apr2, with half of my total assignment only to hate myself when I wasn't able to finish half of half! DAMN!

Now that the last deadline is fast approaching, with still 200+ articles to write, im feeling all nervous! when Red announced the "recession" of his blog sites, I was hoping to find more time to focus and keep up with my backlogs on this BIG project but I can't even finish 10 in a day! damn! Fault is, mine! i am sooo tired. I want money but my body is screaming 'I want to REST!'.. ohmyy.. this is hard. I don't want to quit.

Today, I asked our good friend Mikan [who handles the project] if I could ask for a week extension and she gladly said Yes but only if the remaining installment would only be around less than 500 articles. whew! I wish my friend Shai would agree to that.

NOTE TO SELF: I.MUST.NOT.QUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

blessed with SEXY body and looks!

2011-03-29T03:33:00.001-07:00

http://www.fhm.com.ph/fhm-tv/sub/tv-girls?gid=1815&mode=flv

Moffatts

2011-03-29T00:46:00.000-07:00

okay, this may sound so 'weird' or jologs [cheap] to some but im proud to share that til this very day, I am still a fan of The Moffatts! as there song goes, 'i'll never be satisfied' :)

Gosh! my heart skipped a beat when I saw a complete playlist of their first album over at http://listen.grooveshark.com/album/Chapter+1+A+New+Beginning/3806939?src=5 MEN!!! *faints* haha! oh I miss the triplets, Clint, Bob and Dave then Scott :) weeee!!

magazine covers

2011-03-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

Because of my current sideline, I get to visit book stores again to check out the latest fashion magazines available - be it local or international release. And as I run through the magazine shelf, I can't help but notice some of the covers. I noticed that women still dominates the limelight and stars the field of publishing. That's cool! Oh, I wish to have myself featured in any of my favorite magazine also. Im dreaming big! haha!

Anyway, I saw the latest issue of Men's Health via there Facebook account and it sucks to see their awkward [lack of terms] looking cover. See below.

I find it awkward [again, lack of terms] because Iza Calzado looked way too different from her usual sweet, charming beauty. Idk. I just dont like it. too masculine when Iza's beauty is not.

A little while back, I saw Angelicopter's new blog entry and she again featured a chika vs chaka poll and saw these April covers.

Venus' HOT, HOT Folded N' Hung lookbook shot

Toni G graced Preview Magazine's April ish with a bang!

Dishwalla's Every Little Thing

2011-03-28T16:54:00.000-07:00

I first heard this song back in 2007 [I think] and I instantly fell in love with it. Although I tagged it then as an "emo" song, Dishwalla's Every Little Thing is just a hopeful song. Click to this link below, listen and fall for it too :)

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Every+Little+Thing/9bvCs?src=5

when vanity strikes,

2011-03-27T02:49:00.000-07:00

hit it! :)

Just because I can't sleep, when I should be sleeping on a Saturday morning, to prepare myself in writing a bulk of articles.. I got a grip of my camera phone and strike some pose. then amidst writing sunday eve, I found myself editing some of my 'favorite' shots and here it is :)

oh gosh! I miss being 'vain'!! I know im not the prettiest girl in town but im making myself look [and feel] as pretty as possible. what the heck, this is all about me anyway! haha! oh, I miss being creative! do you think this is nice? :D

where's home?

2011-03-21T03:29:00.000-07:00

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

sad again

2011-03-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

I need to breathe and rejuvenate.

lost. what's new?

2011-03-07T18:22:00.000-08:00

I need to rest but I have to work from day to night.

I need to earn but I have to pay this and that.

I am happy with my family but I feel incomplete.

I adore God but I know i'm not giving him my share.

I feel lost.

I am lost.

Is there any way to escape from this lonesomeness?

I'd like to know.

BORACAY

2011-03-07T00:04:00.000-08:00

I miss you!!!!

zup?!

2011-02-27T05:43:00.000-08:00

Hi Blog!

How have you been? I think I missed to share so many things na. il try to keep up as soon as I can. For now, all I want to share to you is this picture. Dude, I've finally experienced the famous parasailing in Boracay and it was sooooooo cool!! so memorable!!! super!! :-)

Give my regards to soul and romance

2011-01-26T14:36:00.000-08:00

Human by Killers

I did my best to notice
When the call came down the line
Up to the platform of surrender
I was brought but I was kind
And sometimes I get nervous
When I see an open door
Close your eyes
Clear your heart...
Cut the cord

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I'm on my knees
Looking for the answer
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?

Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good
Give my regards to soul and romance,
They always did the best they could
And so long to devotion
You taught me everything I know
Wave goodbye
Wish me well..
You've gotta let me go

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I'm on my knees
Looking for the answer
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?

Will your system be alright
When you dream of home tonight?
There is no message we're receiving
Let me know is your heart still beating

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I'm on my knees
Looking for the answer

You've gotta let me know

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I'm on my knees
Looking for the answer
Are we human
Or are we dancer?

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?

Are we human
Or are we dancer?

wonderwall

2011-01-25T18:00:00.001-08:00

With what I've discovered yesterday, he being snobbish, I realized that I've got to stop dreaming. He is just way too out of my league. Such a sad truth but I cannot do anything about it so as reality knocks, I've got to move on. set my priorities and let fate take its course.

Oh! this is just soooo sad but it really has to end.

Best of luck to you, Coke!

NOTE TO SELF

2011-01-25T01:57:00.000-08:00

Okay, Chelle, there's no time to rant and procrastinate. You have to finish all your assignments sa sideline or else, you will have no MOOLAH! you cannot enjoy summer and you will feel bad for yourself. you don't want that to happen so GO!

DO IT NOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!

>>>>>>>> @__________________@ <<<<<<<<<<

Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

2011-01-21T04:00:00.000-08:00

True indeed. ^_____^

iskeyrd

2011-01-20T17:03:00.000-08:00

I am soo close to meeting you but I turned it down.

I did that because i'm not yet ready to face the possibility of meeting you in that event. I am afraid to see you face to face. Im just not yet ready. I am accepting my failure for this challenge.

I dunno if il ever regain my confidence and strength to finally give way to finding lurv that everyone's pushing me into. goodness!

screaming..

2011-01-16T06:24:00.001-08:00

S T R E S S !!!!!!!!!!!

Kavana - Will you wait for me

2011-01-15T05:58:00.000-08:00

I really consider this as a perfect song esp if someone dear to you passed away. Funny that I consider this as a love song back then, oh well I still consider it as such til now.

Today, I dedicate this song to a dear friend, Mary Rose Remobatac. I know I can no longer talk to her in person but I hope that by posting this on her FB wall can reach her. She's sorely missed. Gosh! if only I have the power to go back in time and correct things, I'd certainly do so in whichever way possible. But I do believe in God and leave everything to him. He knows best. whew!

so, here it is..

Kavana - Special Kind Of Something

2011-01-15T05:38:00.000-08:00

I am a self-confessed fan of Anthony Kavanagh or internationally known as KAVANA. I've been listening to his songs since way back 1999 [or earlier?]; that was on a cassette tape pa! haha. He first got my attention because of his looks but as I played his songs over and over using my classic walkman, I learned to love him and adore his music. it's just so good! my all time fav is 'Will you wait for me' which I then considered a love song turned out, it was a song for someone who already passed away..well, it's love still.

now im sharing this one cool hit entitled 'A special kind of something'. listen out, read the lyrics and you might just love it as well. the words are just so right for anyone who's been waiting and hoping to meet that perfect someone.

Somebody said that I would make it big
Somebody said that I would be the kid
to go all the way to go all the way
My daddy said learn and you will go far
You've got to reach out for the highest star
That's what he said so that's what I did...

And nobody said that I would feel this pain
Nobody said that I would feel this way
And I need to explain...

CHORUS :
I've got something to give,
I need someone to hold,
I need a special kind of something
Coz I dont wanna be alone...

I've got to learn how to love,
I need to know how to care,
I've got a special kind of something
That I just need to share...

I didn't really think about the consequence,
I've got a one way ticket out of innocence,
But that was my dream, and this is my dream,

I can't spend another night on my own,
Never in my life felt so alone,
Darling, can I explain?

(repeat chorus)

With you...

And if I keep pretending, how will you know?
The message I keep sending,
I've got a special kind of something,
that I just need to show, ooh

(repeat chorus)

Something to give, someone to hold,
Special kind of something, don't wanna be alone,
Ooh

Learn how to love, know how to care,
Special kind of something I just need to share...

do i need a reason

2011-01-15T01:41:00.000-08:00

To hold back my fear
and feel you so near
I've never been this far before
To hold back my fear
and feel you so near
I'm scared of falling into deep this time

----

Coldplay - The Scientist (Edit)

2011-01-14T05:44:00.000-08:00

and so I'm getting addicted to Coldplay's songs over again. well actually I have never really contemplated on the lyrics in any of their songs, only now. simply because I want to and Im losing appetite to finish what im currently doing, writing articles. oh well potato salad! :)

Dreamsounds

2011-01-13T02:24:00.000-08:00

Oh how I adore this awesome mix! if then I am contented to downloading each song, save it on my MP3/phone and listen, now I wouldn't coz I WANT TO HAVE MY OWN CD OF IT!! really! men!!!

go try to listen to this one :)

http://sandeerecabar.multiply.com/music/item/1316/On_The_Radio_Part_1_Wave_89.1_Dreamsounds

Coldplay - Fix You

2011-01-13T01:32:00.000-08:00

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

** A very, very tearjerker song yet il never get tired of playing and listening. The lyrics are just soooo right! Listen, contemplate and you'll know it's worth :)

Wilson Phillips "You're in Love" 1990 - Video

2011-01-02T01:27:00.000-08:00

Feel good music :)

Music

2010-12-28T07:29:00.000-08:00

is one best stress reliever.

Christmas blues..

2010-12-25T18:09:00.000-08:00

Im feeling so low..

Ready For Love - Legaci (Original)

2010-12-25T07:00:00.000-08:00

I love the lyrics xoxo! :D

December 23

2010-12-23T06:45:00.000-08:00

I am so not in the mood to work tonight, and I intend to file my resignation by February. So I guess I have to keep my ass moving to look for a new job.

gloomy Saturday

2010-12-18T08:58:00.000-08:00

I feel so bad.
I feel so sad.
I feel so tired.
and worst,
I feel so alone.

;( never felt this bad for quite long and I effin HATE it! Who would love to feel sad anyway? crap!

this ain't just mood swings or PMS thing, whatsoever! IDK! All I want is to get this feeling washed out because I dont want to ruin my weekend. oh so human!! AZAR!!

needing love,

Chelle

This Girl - Nikki Flores

2010-12-17T02:08:00.000-08:00

Just the kind of song I love to dedicate for myself :) Go on.. listen and find out why :)

2010-12-01T03:55:00.000-08:00

Here's a snap shot of what I face everyday when I'm at work.

After finishing my EM tasks, few minutes segue then il be busy for my writing assignments.

Kabarato Shop

2010-11-27T20:48:00.000-08:00

I still couldn't believe that I made it! Kabarato Shop, in partnership with Monsterpiece, joined and survived DLSU-D's Bahaginan Christmas Bazaar para sa mga Iskolar (2010) last November 22-26. A stressful yet fun and very memorable week! :)

First, I was really hesitant. I don't know where to start but my mind keeps on haunting me with these lines, "Sayang yung chance. Exposure din yun. Mabibili na iba mong items, etc.." and so when I went to meet Louh [owner of MOnsterpiece] to discuss things and decide, everything went on in a swift! :)

Day 1.

7am. OMG! It was raining! While inside the car, I prayed so hard that the rain would soon stop. I couldn't bear the idea of seeing us soak, messy, whatsoever. God, as always, is so good to me and Louh and to the rest of the exhibitors as the rained stopped before the bazaar finally opened to public.

I was Overwhelmed. Delighted. Amazed. when I handed my first sold item to a customer. It was right there and then that I realized we are really there, in a bazaar! :)) Day 1 went smoothly. I went home with a smile on my face and mind filled of hopes that the next 4 days would go well.

Day 2.

8-12 duty. As much as I want to stay I just can't coz I have to go to work =( Luckily, I survived the stressful and very LOOOOOONNGGG tuesday. Imagine, I woke up at 6am, went to the bazaar, off to work by 12 for my 2-10 duty, arrived home 12 midnight then went online to check stuffs and doze off by 1am ;O til Day 3 came..

Day 3.

My body is already screaming, Im tired, but my mind is inspired to move. Sales is okay, there were fun moments with the customers, Louh & other exhibitors. But it was so "bitin" again coz I have work, hehe.

Day 4.

Sales. sales. sales! :) Gerley visited the booth with her sister to claim her orders and bought one more shirt for her sister :) and then, I left by lunchtime to go to work. Fortunately, my officemates bought few items as well! nice! :)

Day 5.

Last day!! I filed a leave at work so that I can enjoy the sweet last day experience in the bazaar. My officemates came to visit us together with Seth and Shai. I am very touched coz Sethybabes stayed all day to be with us and share the fun experience with me & Louh :) she even gave us a gift, bought items and took pictures of us! :) sadly, Shai couldn't stay long coz she has a training. And what's so memorable for our last day, Gerley!! Although she looked tired and irritated of the weather, she lighten up our day and went loud! :)

As I write this entry, I still haven't started with my sales inventory but I am confident that all is well :) hehe..

Would there be a next time? I hope so.. :)

=(

2010-11-18T03:25:00.001-08:00

Damn! I am soo FAAAT and I am soooo heavy. Im not liking it anymore =(

Love/Hate - ADCC Awards Show

2010-11-16T09:08:00.000-08:00

A very clever AVP that best describes how im feeling right now. whew!

single and young but..

2010-11-16T01:31:00.000-08:00

I feel like im not enjoying it. Could it be because I already made myself committed to take few responsibilities at home but i couldnt give balance to all that's why i always feel exhausted? if this is true then what should i do? I gotta find some answers to this. Im not liking it anymore.

Backstreet Boys on Oprah 11/4/2010

2010-11-07T04:42:00.000-08:00

I remember back in grade school days, I always watch this local MTV program at ABC5 just to catch BSB's Anywhere for you and Nsync's Tearin' Up my Heart music videos. At such young age, I get super kilig everytime I see these two great looking boybands esp. Nick Carter then, will be kikay naman for Spice Girls :) I even wished Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton and Nick Carter to become a couple. haha!

As years passed, I have grown to love BSB even moooorrreee <3>

Oh how I envy Noelle, a BSB fan from US! Sigh.

But as a BSB fan shoutout.. KTBSBSA!! Keep The Backstreet Boys' Spirit Alive =)

tap, tap, tap

2010-11-06T02:41:00.000-07:00

I'm on it again.. ;O!

I always dream of becoming a writer but I lack of confidence. This inferiority is best described in the first few lines of the song "Push" by Matchbox20 as it goes like, "I don't know if I've ever been good enough, I'm a little bit rusty.."

If only I can fill-in my brain with a bank of words and has the ability to mix, chop and paraphrase sentences in just a snap then, I would probably be working in the publication industry - not as an editorial assistant, but as a writer. but that sounds toxic, hehe.. men!! crap!!

Wonderwall

2010-11-01T08:27:00.000-07:00

Wonderwall, as urban dictionary puts it, refers to someone who you find yourself thinking about all the time, the person who you are completely infatuated with. the one that you look for on your buddylist everytime you sign online. the one who has a heart next to their name in your phone book. the person that you find yourself completely head over heals for.

So I guess this is the perfect song I can dedicate for..____. hihii. [talandi ku =))]

Meanwhile, I am not a big fan of OASIS but I do listen and appreciate their music since I was a kid. For this song, I specifically adore the lines..

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall <3

money

2010-10-28T15:50:00.000-07:00

I need lots of this..

and this,

truth hurts

2010-10-24T20:27:00.001-07:00

I am a weakling =(

Laugh real hard

2010-10-20T22:40:00.001-07:00

It was during our last bonding with my maternal side cousins (leaving for abroad back in 2007 or 2008) when little brother and I learned about this fun TV series entitled, Family Guy. At first, I really find it strange and non-sense to watch a gag-type show esp with my brother around but, watching few episodes of it over the internet again made me realized that Family Guy is a must see series esp if you are the type who loves to laugh, feels like super stressed in life, and/or would like to escape from your robotic routine after work/school. =)

dream vacay

2010-10-20T15:55:00.000-07:00

Since 2008, I always dream of having a grand vacation; not that I am [super] physically abused/stressed at work but, I feel like my whole body is aching and it always screams for full relaxation.

Stress, as medicinenet.com defines it, is simply a fact of nature -- forces from the outside world affecting the individual. The individual responds to stress in ways that affect the individual as well as their environment. Hence, all living creatures are in a constant interchange with their surroundings (the ecosystem), both physically and behaviorally.

As I continue my journey in my current job, my list of goals, projects and objectives is getting longer and I cant help not to think about it every millisecond. Although I am not forced, my folks gave me some financial duties which leaves my bank account and wallet always empty. I accepted them whole-heartedly coz I want to hold on to the idea that they're for my future and that it's better to keep them than to spend every penny [always] for leisure and regret it after.

Dilemma strikes whenever I feel like Im going nowhere from where I currently am. That I am supposed to be (working) somewhere and not here because this is not what I dreamed of but, it always boil down to my pathetic excuses..lack of courage and confidence.

Stress. Stress. Stress. I know, there are people out there who have stressful life than I do but it's in human nature to rant so allow me, lol.

Out of what im claiming as stressful life, I am thankful that I am surrounded by gorgeous people who loves to travel coz at least I was able and will be able to visit beautiful provinces around the country and destress even for a short span of time. But I guess, I also need to have that grand vacation alone where I can relax, meditate, appreciate the things I have/I have achieved, and be amazed with how beautiful my life is. I intend to have one, in God's time.

And on the funnier side, I want a vacation to have a picture similar to the one above. LOL. I love beautiful scenery that sunset brings. I love the relaxed feeling that the hammock gives and the time alone to rejuvinate and wash out all the bad vibes this stressful life gives.

Flo Rida - Baller (New Single 2010)

2010-10-19T05:14:00.000-07:00

dilemma

2010-10-03T22:10:00.000-07:00

Do I really need to take that drug AGAIN for me to feel better? OR, I should go visit my doctor first to know exactly what my health condition is?

This goiter thing is getting on my nerves, AGAIN!! ;( No matter how hard I try to lose weight, I always gain 1lbs/min. Oh! that sounds so exaggerating right but that's how it's like ;( I only feel better if I constantly take that pill/drug. The aid may sound so simple but it's not, really! The drug is quite pricey and that's one hella big thing for me! Just because I have regular work and business alongside doesn't mean I have lots of moolah. It might take more months or a year for me to feel victorious in that business venture so I dont depend on that. SIGH.

So, is it a YES or a NO? man!!

3rd weekend of Sept

2010-09-19T08:10:00.001-07:00

natatawa ako sa Facebook! nagiging feeling-era tuloy ako paminsan! hihii.. PAK!

I was supposed to write about some random stuffs tonight but Im not in the mood, PAK!

Oh well, weekend's almost OVER! How I've been? Good.

Saturday

- went to Baclaran after work [6am] scouted for some packaging stuffs

- went to CCP Harbour Square afterwards, to meet MA then I was encouraged to join the 30mins dance class

- slept

- Seth's carbonara partey/The BAR Strawberry Vodka night, and Soju alongside

- HOME

Sunday

- General Cleaning

- Sort orders for delivery [Monday]

- Slept

- FB

- Ice Cream

- FB

- ZZzzzzZZZ

LOL. So boring in here!!

TOMORROW'S ANOTHER DAY!! o____0

;(

2010-09-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine posted in FB yesterday [Thursday/16Sept], "[NAME] is matampuhin. I want to change this attitude"...and I was like, whoah! that's just so like me! so I commented to her post ofcourse. All along I thought im having a fine day til I came to the office. The meeting ruined my THURSDAY! I felt so ILL again. grr..

RANTING AGAIN, I KNOW!!

Going back to being "matampuhin", so I really got tampo to someone..IDK. Why can't I name any person here? because I know il regret it in the future. nweiz, this blaberring could just be one of my childish acts so Id rather BE SAFE.

Being matampuhin sucks! Glad i dont have a bf to fight with when im on the mood to make tampo over small things, sounds like a loser eh? DAMN! that's what I hate. what do you call that? alter ego? pride? I know there's a difference between the two, LOL.

To sum this up, why am I on a tampo mode? so many "reasons"..
First, I really believe that I've always been helpful yet when a time comes that I need help, I feel like getting NOTHING.as in ZERO! worst, I am IGNORED.

Next, am I being TOO nice? how can I know, if im not even sure if i am nice. dats awful!

Another, I am stressed! stressed! stressed! and lastly, I am STRESSED!!!!!!!!!

This tampo thingy is not something new to me. If only I can go check over my old blog account and share it to you, man! you'd prolly get tired reading the same issue in several posts, over and over!

Lessons (as always): Learn to stand on your own. Never to depend on anyone else but yourself. Regardless if you're surrounded by many species, at the end of the day, it would just be yoU, YOU, YOU [ME]!!

Otei?

-the End-

3rd week of Sept

2010-09-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

Been feeling bad lately, physically, mentally and emotionally ;(

here I go again..and again.

2010-09-14T08:04:00.001-07:00

sa panahong ito, FACEBOOK ang bukambibig ng madla. Bata, matanda, single o married, may work o wala, lahat may FB! Oh! except for someone like Sir Edward, my former senior officemate. His reason, bawal kay wifey. LOL.

if I say "I want to die" and it happened, would God accept me in his kingdom?

I really want to meet HIM. Who's he? hmm,, someone with the initials, AJER of Imus, Cavite. LOL.
ask why? nothing. I just wanna befriend him. I am attracted to him, OK! but no worries, ive never been the stalker type in real life and i will never be cause that's eew..!!

Do I really need to move out to a new workplace? I enjoy the company of my officemates/friends but the work's hella boring and unprogressive? [lack of terms]. What I am for in searching for a new job? Better salary. Fun/Cool work with a room for progress!

I am blinded by STRESS, I guess. How to destress? I dont know.

I'm afraid but, I want to love.
why afraid? because I don't want to get hurt. just like what my dad's doing to my mom. Honestly, IDK where their issue is heading but from my point of view, it all boils down to lack of trust, being greedy, and too much dependency. not to forget, MONEY issues to TOP it all. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..

Im being slow at times.. super BOO!!

I need sales!! KABARATO SHOP.

I need higher salary!!

I want to help more. told ya, money issue sucks big time!

Im hungry, literally, and emotionally. Aaah, does dat make sense?

I want to WRITE but writing kinda hate me.

So you see, I have so many wants and needs. You may find some as shallow or non-sense but to me, for now, they're precious [lack of terms AGAIN].

-The END-

sleepyhead!

2010-09-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

Is there any way that I can energize myself while at work, on a night shift? Damn!

Im worried. I got a lot of work to do - emails! emails! emails! ++report! yay! Goodluck to me!

I just hope I wont mess up! ;(

dreamy

2010-09-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through sites in search for a kewl new template/layout for my blog page til I came across Tina Chen's page (http://flavors.me/tina#421/blogger ) and I was really amazed with this..

I have always been a FAN of cozy spaces where I can lie down, spend my entire day listening and dancing to the groove of my playlists (YES! with an S), be at peace and do whatever I want for leisure or relaxation, and this type of place will surely do!

hmm.. maybe I should really go back to reading architectural-interior design articles then try on that 3d stuff my brother has been playing with creating blueprints of his dream house "daw" lol

to buy or not..

2010-09-12T19:34:00.000-07:00

hmm.. just before my birthday month, September, I already purchased 4 new shoes. 1 from PSL [Can's Pinay Shoe Lovers] that's worth 1,300K and three pairs from ate Jane [shoes from Germany] worth 1K all :)

Well, I don't have regrets buying these because I need and I want them all!! My mind told me that I need to buy something for myself and shoes would be the best buys! To cut this blah short, I want another one.. specifically, the one in the picture.

This footwear looks classy even in its very plain approach. It looks wearable for any getup, right? The color's not too bright neither too dull. and I want it sooo BAD!! I am not the kikay type but I can be maarte and shopaholic at times and shoes and clothes are my guilty pleasures! :) <3>

Taj Jackson - Think Of You (with lyrics)

2010-09-12T08:53:00.000-07:00

who said love songs are just for people who are inlove?? Di noh!! lol.

why do I like this song? It's simply so sweet for a guy to reassure his partner that his heart belongs just for her <3>

... what do you do when you love someone so much

you'll do almost anything just for one touch
trying to make an excuse just to get away
that's the way i feel about you baby
when i leave do you know what i go through
it makes me cry every time cuz i miss you
and i hope you feel the same way to
cause all i do is think of you.

a sweet good night to all! :)

2010-09-11T06:13:00.001-07:00

what to do, what to do...on a lonesome weekend

2010-09-10T14:16:00.000-07:00

will think over this until Monday!

enough of blabbering

2010-09-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

it's time for.. DREAMSOUNDS! :)

<3>

size does matter

2010-09-07T10:05:00.000-07:00

I really think this is absurd!

not because I have figure issues myself but.. aargh! it's just so stupid!!